| Just to Fill Everyone In |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|01:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | IPod | ] |
I just thought that since I haven't posted in awhile that I would tell everyone whats going on. I'm going to go in order as much as I can:
.....
February 20, 2005
My dad went to the hospital thinking that he was just sick with the flu and found out that he had lung cancer.
This was the reason that I was so pissed off at everyone, I'm sorry if I was mean to anyone I didn't mean anything by it, I just couldn't talk about my dad and it really got to me.
.....
March-April 2005
Dad had a mass the size of a grape fruit removed from his neck.
He also started going though kemo treatments.
.....
May 13, 2005
Dad skipped his last kemo treatment to watch me and my brother go off to our prom.
.....
May 25, 2005
Last day of school and came home to find my dad asleep, and thought that until my step mom came home and relized that he was passed out, we couldn't wake him up so we had to call the hospital to come and get him and rush him to the hospital.
.....
May 28, 2005
Graduation day, dad was still in the hospital and couldn't make it to my graduation, and the doctors were giving him just a few more days to live.
.....
June 25, 2005 Friday
My dad pasted away at 5:30 pm, I was the last person to say good bye and that I would see him again soon.
.....
So just in case anyone was wondering thats been going on and thats why I haven't really been on that much.
Well I have to go see everyone later.
<3 Julie |
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| Just another Update |
[May. 8th, 2005|02:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Matchbox 20-Long Day | ] |
Okay I said that I would take back any mean things that I ever said about my step mom if they just celebrated my birthday and I'm here to do that.
See yesterday my dad gave me money to go buy myself an IPod Mini, and I am going to do that today with Sandy or tomorrow my brother and me are going to skip 6th hour and go get it. I'm just so happy.
Well I have to go.
Love
Julie |
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| Just an Upset |
[May. 2nd, 2005|09:21 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None (no IPod left CD player at home) | ] |
OMG! Every time I get my hopes up they get knocked out from under me. I don't know why I do it to myself because my hopes never come true.
Friday my step mom, me, and my brother go to Lexington we get our tuxs (they look so great by the way) and we were surposed to go to Lexington Green to CompUSA to get my IPod Mini. BUT NO! Can't do that because "it wasn't on my dads to-d0 list for my step mom to do". Well I was bummed out and I go home with a frown on my face even through my step mom said we would go Saturday to get it.
Well Saturday I get up at 10 am and take a shower and get ready. Well come to find out my step mom is "sick" but in other terms it because she doesn't have any "feel good" pills and her back "hurts". SO...another let down. My dad said that they weren't feeling good and that we would go Sunday and get me one.
Well Sunday I get up and do the whole thing again and what happens...we can't go because she is still not feeling good.
Its not that I didn't get it, its just that everytime that me and her make plans something always happens. I know they do alot for me its just that when it comes to me and her doing something just the two of us it never happens.
I get all upset and down-in-out because plans get broke. I love my brothers to death but when it comes to them I'm the last one she see's and does anything with. Or when it comes time to something with me she is packing her bags and "moving out".
For another example:
I was wanting a hair cut and she promised for about 2 months that she was going to do it, but it never happened. I had let her borrow money when dad had first went into the hospital (my christmas money) and she paid me back so that I can get a hair cut and she told me that it was a early birthday gift. That is so full of shit.
With the $70 dollars she owes me you would think that she could go get me an IPod.
But this morning she has to take my little brother to school at 7 in the morning well it was about 8:10 when my brother and me left for school this morning and my dad had us shut the door and we didn't pass her on the highway (I was looking). I just hope she did go to Lexington and get me an IPod. LOL! But it better be the $199.99 one (the IPod Mini hold 1000) because the cheaper one, The Shuffle is $100 and only holds 100 songs. A complete waste of money.
If it happens I will take back all the mean stuff I have ever said about her.
But I shouldn't get my hope up for her doing that because it wont even happen. She might have went to the doctors wanting more pills.
Well I got to go!
<3 Julie |
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| My Zoot Suit |
[May. 2nd, 2005|01:38 am] |
Look at my zoot suit, Im going to have a pink vest and tie. No cain, chains, or hat.
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| FRIDAY~!~ |
[Apr. 29th, 2005|01:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Its just another day in my life when nothing else happens. It is very very rainy and I don't like it. Today my step mom is taking my brother tux hunting and I'm going to go with them because they are going to stop in Lexington Green and go to CompUSA to get me a IPod Mini. I'm really happy because I don't have to worry about CDs anymore (packing them around everywhere I go). I cand just buy them and store them on my computer and download them to my IPod.
That's all I really have to say so I'm going to go. Buh Bye xoxo
<3 Julie |
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| Its Just an Update |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
 I don't really know what to rant about this time, I guess I'm almost out of things to rant about because nothing is really going all that bad. Yes, there are still things that have been getting on my nerves but I don't really let it bother me anymore, I just let it run off my back like little ran drops.
But I do have this to say, I wonder why my step mom has been in such a greate mood latley. I don't know what she is doing but I hope she keeps on doing it.
I know I already told everyone that I got my tongue pierced but its a week this Saturday how long I have had it done and my parents still don't know. I think that they do don't get me wrong but I don't think they are going to say anything to me about it because they really can't do anything because I'm 18 years old now and the only thing that they really can do is kick me out but I don't think that they are going to be doing all that.
OMG! Krystle called me yesterday (the girl who hooked me up with my ex) I didn't answer the phone but I know where she was calling me from. She has the nerve to call me after what she did to me and she called me from my ex's house. Knowing that I still like him and would do anything to have him back.
But thats all I really have to talk about so I am going to go and talk to everyone later.
<3 Julie |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|01:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
Your Taste in Music:
|
| 90's Alternative: Highest Influence | | 80's Rock: High Influence | | Classic Rock: High Influence | | Hair Bands: High Influence | | Heavy Metal: High Influence | | 90's Rock: Medium Influence | | Adult Alternative: Medium Influence | | 80's Alternative: Low Influence | | 90's Pop: Low Influence | | Alternative Rock: Low Influence | | Progressive Rock: Low Influence | | Punk: Low Influence | | R&B: Low Influence | | Ska: Low Influence |
You Are 60% Normal
(Really Normal)
|
Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal
You're like most people most of the time
But you've got those quirks that make you endearing
You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so! |
You May Be a Bit Borderline ... |
Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute! |
You Will Die at Age 67 |
67
You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...
And how you'll die as well. |
Your Life Path Number Is 7 |
7
You are a peaceful and affectionate soul... and by nature rather reserved and analytical.
The overwhelming strength of the number 7 is reflected in the depth of thinking that is shown.
You will garner knowledge from practically every source that you find.
Intellectual, scientific and studious, you don't accept a premise until you have dissected the subject and arrived at you own independent conclusion.
This is a very spiritual number and it often denotes a sort of spiritual wisdom that becomes apparent at a fairly early age. You need a good deal of quiet time to be with your own inner thoughts and dreams.
You dislike crowds, noise and confusion.
You are very thorough and complete in your work, the perfectionist who expects everyone else to be a meet a high standard of performance, too.
You evaluate situations very quickly and with amazing accuracy.
You rely heavily on your experiences and your intuition, rather than accepting advice from someone.
Your hunches usually prove to be very accurate, and knowing this, you are one who tends to follow the directions they seem to guide.
It's easy for you to detect deception and recognize insincere people.
You aren't one to have a wide circle of friends, but once you accept someone as a friend, it's for life.
You really aren't a very social person, and your reserve is often taken to be aloofness.
You actually like being alone, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life.
In many ways, you would have fit in better in much earlier times when the pace of life was less hectic.
In the most negative use of the 7 energies, you can become very pessimistic, lackadaisical, quarrelsome, and secretive.
A Life Path 7 individual who is not living life fully and gaining through experiences.
A negative 7 is a hard person to live with because of a serious lack of consideration.
The negative 7 is very selfish and spoiled.
If you have any of the negative traits they are very difficult to get rid of.
At your worst, you feel that the world really does owe you something - or in some way you aren't being fairly treated.
Fortunately, the negative 7 is not the typical 7, at least not without some mitigating positive traits.
This number is one that seems to have some major shifts from highs to lows.
Stability in feelings may be elusive for you.
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| OMG I GOT PIERCED |
[Apr. 26th, 2005|10:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  surprised | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Usher-Lovers and Friends (David) | ] |
I got my tongue pierced Saturday on my birthday and I can't believe it because my parents still don't know that I have it done. Even though they said I could as long as I took care of it.
But thats all I have to say for myself but I have to go and get ready for school.
<3 Julie |
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| Nothing Important |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|11:19 am] |
Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
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| TESTING |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|11:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Today in school for the first three hours of the day we have testing with our homeroom. I guess with seniors it isn't that bad so I don't really have anything to complan about because its just on-demand writing. I'm just happy that it isn't CATS testing because that would be a pain in the butt doing.
But I talked to my friend Amber about my birthday and I think that she is going to take me to get my piercing and hang out for the day. I'm going to give her gas money but if she doesn't fill up to it then I'm not going to bug her about it.
I think that Tracie is mad at me for stomthing, I just don't know what. I have tried calling her but she is either asleep, taking a shower, using the bathroom, or her mom is on the phone. I'm not going to call her anymore and when she calls me then I will talk to her but I'm not going to bust my ass worrying about something that I don't know what I did to upset her. Before she quit calling me she was telling me that she was sick so I think that has something to do with it. But I don't know if she wants to hang out with me for my birthday. I just hope that she isn't mad at me because she is the love of my life(in a friend). She just helps me with all my problems that I have and if she stops talking to me then I'm going to end up dead.
OMG! on yahoo I tried talking to my friend Josh that lives in Berea and I'm just waiting for him to reply because he wasn't online when I sent him the IM. I just explained to him what happened when the three of us (Tracie, me and him) fell out. Tracie and I stayed friends but he just got mad at us. He is just one angry little gay man, don't get me wrong I don't have anything against gays because 90% of my friends are gay one way or another.
My friend Alisha and I are haveing some kind of problem. I don't know what it is but we haven't been "friends" since before she started dating Aj. I know that has something to do with it, because he don't like me because I don't like how he treats her half of the time. She shouldn't be with him anyway because of all the shit that he puts her through. I think that she has spent more on him then she has ever spent on herself, and I'm not even talking about clothes and etc, I'm talking about really big shit that I am not even going to talk about on here.
She thinks that he loves her and that they are going to be together for the rest of their lives but I really don't think so. The only reason that he is with her is because of the money that her family has and that she can get whatever the hell that she wants. But when that's all gone and there is nothing left for him to suck out of her then he is going to run off with the next "rich bitch" that he can find.
**Anyways**
On a more personal note my dad is still smoking and he wont quit even when I yell at him about it. He just needs to quit with everything and relize that I need him in my life. I understand that death happens to you when you get older but he is killing himself faster then his time and he knows that and he still wont quit.
My step-mom is still being a pain in the ass. She takes all my dads meds and bitches if there isn't enough left when he starts needing them. Lastnight she was about to leave but she knows that she has no where to go because she bitched out her mom and dad. So they wont take her in and my dad don't have the money to put her up in a hotel for a day.
Next time she starts talking about it to me about leaving and shit Im going to tell her that I would pack her bags myself this time because I'm gettin sick of the drama that she puts everyone through. If Amber takes me this Saturday to get my tongue pierced then that is going to give my step-mom something else to bitch about and I'm not going to take it out unless I get a job and they make me take it out. Even then I am going to get a clear retainer for it so that no one see it. My dad said that I can about three months ago when I asked him about it so that is all that I am worried about. Now if he told me that I couldn't then I wouldn't, but he said I could so I'm going to do it.
But I have to go so I will talk to everyone later. Have a good day!!
<3 Julie |
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| MY BIRTHDAY |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|12:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
My birthday is on Saturday this weekend and I am so freakin happy and I can't wait. Because I am going to see if my brother would take me to get my best friend Tracie and the tree of us go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show that is going to be at Kentucky Theatre and take me to get my tongue pierced.
But thats all I wanted to say so bye!
<3 Julie |
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| OMG Krystle Gets on my Nerves |
[Apr. 18th, 2005|01:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chevelle-Wonder What's Next (cd) | ] |
 OMG! The other night I was online and when I looked at my buddy list I noticed that Krystle was online, and her and her boyfriend was the one that hooked me up with David (her boyfriends cousin). She had the nerve to rub it in my face that he had another girlfriend and that he had just got home from being with her. I still like him yes, but if she was really my friend she shouldn't have done anything like that. So next time she tries to talk to me I am going to let her have it because that wasn't right on her part.
 I still like him/care for him but I know that it wasn't going to work from the beginning. Not because I didn't trust him, because I did but because of my own demons. I couldn't open up to him even when I tried to. I miss sleeping with him(not sexual) because I felt safe with him. I wouldn't do that with anyone if I didn't because I have my standards same as anyother girl. So I felt safe being with him and I knew if it came to it he would be there for me when I needed him most.
 He still has my heart even through I didn't love him or anything like that. It's just because I like him because he is the only guy that I EVER felt safe with in my life. I just hope that somewhere down the road I get to meet him again or meet someone like him.
~*Anyways*~
SATURDAY IS MY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!! Im so fuckin happy!!! |
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| Just to Drop a Line |
[Apr. 14th, 2005|12:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
 Hello, how was everyones spring break? We got back in school this Monday and my god it has been a emotional week and I just want to get it over with and get to the weekend.
See with everything that is going on with my dad I have to come to school and face the judge-mental, irresponsible, fuckers that make up Scott Co. High School. I can't believe that there are so many peoeple in this school that don't know how to open their minds and look at the real person and what they stand for instead of doing everything that their friends are doing.
This school has so many problems with people draining others with hurting words, and it seems that is the only reason that people get up in the morning. They just want to beat up people emotionally so that they feel like the bigger person and to look cool. Im just sick of how we can't all just get along. I know that I have done somethings that hurt people in the past and I'm sorry about that, I really am but to sit there and to hate someone just because they are just a little bit different from you is just wrong and not at all right.
People just need to get along with everyone so that there isn't no school shootings, or bomb threats, or anything of that nature. Because if you really look at it, when you pick on someone or call someone evil names or talk about someones sexual preferences you set up the situation of having something happen to your school. When something does happen at a school like that you see interviews with students saying things like "I don't know why he/she would do something like that! I didn't know him/her but he/she couldn't have that bad of a life." I think that deep down they really do know what was going on.
~*Anyways*~
At the home front, everything is going okay! My dad started more treatment yesterday and he is going to be finished with it Friday and then he has to go back in for more treatments in I think 3 more weeks and get his last set of treatments and he will be done. I just hope that they get everything done with and he gets better.
I am kind of disappointed in him because he is starting to smoke again and I told him that I want him to stop and that I was very disappointed in that he started. I don't think that he got mad at me for sorta yelling at him but I hope that it just woke him up to stop smoking again. I just want to have my daddy to walk me down the aisle when I do get married, I want him there when I have my first baby, I want him there when I graduate highs school. But they way he is smoking I don't think that anything is going to get better.
But now I do have to go and I will talk leter.
<3 Julie |
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| Ideas that I have for my Birthday |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|01:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
I think that I am going to be getting a couple of piercings, and maybe a tattoo but I'm not really all that sure. Here are some piercing idea's that I have:
 I am only going to get the piercing in the middle of the picture and my third hole done.
 I am just so in love with this piercing. I have been wanting it for almost a year. I am going to get this done on my birthday.
 I have also fell in love with this piercing, I have wanted it since I was 7. I am also going to get this done on my birthday
 I'm just giong to be getting the piercing on the outside part of the ear.
The ones that I am going to be getting on my birthday my step said that if I was going to do this that I could also be paying rent for my own place. See my dad has already said that I could get this done and I told him what she said and he told me to ignore it because I can do whatever the fuck that I want. I don't know who she thinks that she is if she is going to kick me out when she doesn't pay the bills, and when she isn't legally my parent.
If she tries to make me take it out then she has another thing coming because my dad will through her out on her ass if she tries anything like that.
OMG!! Yesterday I didn't have no lunch money to eat at school so I had to wait until I got home to get anything to eat. Well my dads nurse was there to see if he was doing okay. Well Sandy, my step mom, was looking for the disinfected ointment. See she got it for me when I got my eyebrow pierced so that it wouldn't get infected. Well when it healed I put it in the kitchen medicine cabinet. See she started looking for it about 2 days ago, but she swore up and down that I still had it and that it was somewhere in my bathroom or my room. But I told her that I didn't have it that I put it back up in the kitchen.
Well yesterday I got fed up that she didn't believe me. Let me jump back in time again. When my brother moved out my dad cleaned his room, and he moved his dresser out in the hallway out side of the computer room. My dad left some of his things in it. Well yesterday I opened one of the drawers and it was nothing but CD's so I looked in the one next to it. What do you think that I found, the thing that she had spent 3 days looking for. Thats right ointment. I spent not even 10 minutes looking for it and I found it in a day. At first she thought that I got it out of my room and when I told her that I got it out of my brothers (her son before she got married to my dad)dresser, she got a look on her face that I would love to see again, because she was shocked.
After the nurse left I still haven't got anything to eat. Well at this time my little brother left with one of his friends to soccer practice. I still didn't get anything to eat and it was about 3 hours later my little brother got home. Well his little friend and his mom was still at our house. But my step mom and the other mom was out side talking and smoking.
I went out there getting a school pizza to cook and eat (it was in the deep freazer)Sandy, my step mom, told me that my two brothers and me were eating to much and that we have ate the entire thing. Well here is the conversation:
"Julie you, (brothers name) and (brothers name) have ate all of the pizza's and there is only one package left."
"Sandy you ate some too and you burnt I think 2"
"I ONLY ATE 1 AND BURNT 1!"
"Okay Sandy"
Well I walked back into the house and went into the kitchen, well she followed me and here is the conversation in the kitchen:
"You need to tell me your sorry, you disrespected me in front of my friends. I was still talking and you just walked off."
"Sandy I don't owe you anything I thought that you were done talking"
"You don't owe me a sorry? I think you do so you better tell me that you are."
"Okay Sandy I'm sorry...for doing nothing!"
I put the pizza in the oven and my step mom walked off and asked the other mom if she could stay with at her house tonight. But that didn't pan out. When the other mom and her son left I was still in the kitchen and Sandy came back into the kitchen saying the following:
"You have treated me like nothing but a bitch since your dad has been home from the hospital."
I didn't say anything and just kept doing what I was doing. Well me and my little brother started playing in the kitchen and she told him not bother me, and when he asked her why she told him because he wasn't allowed because I was being to much of a bitch.
Well I went into my room and got a few dirty clothes and went to the laundary room and put them in it. I looked into the kitchen and she was putting more pizza in the oven.
So I took a shower, by the time I got out the pizza was done. I just stayed in my room for about an hour. My dad came to my room and told me that my food was done. So I went in there (Sandy went to bed) and I sat down and told dad what had happen. He told me that he knows and that he wasn't mad at me and that I wasn't in the wrong.
Well the pizza she cooked for me was burnt (thanks), so the only thing that I had to eat yesterday was a peanut butter sandwich.
I have to go...BYE!
<3 Julie |
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| My Bitch of a Step Mom (continued) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|01:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  moody | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
Okay yesterday I went home and my parents were still fighting and I started getting a headache. I went into my room and let them be alone to see if they could work it out and they did.
I didn't do anything for my head ache until it started getting really bad aroudn 7:30 so I took some asprin and went to bed. I told my dad that I was going to bed and not to bother me unless it was a big time emergancy and if HE wanted something.
About an hour before I laid down I told my step mom that I would go down to the neighbors to pick up my brother.
Well it was around 8 and my step mom, Sandy came into my room and started yelling at me because I had 4 glasses of water in my room and a few dirty clothes. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it because my head was hurting.
She said that her body was hurting too, and she still did things around the house instead of going into her room and sleeping it off. I was thining the whole time that the only reason that she was "hurting" was because she took all the pills and she didn't have anymore.
But when she left my room I just went back to bed and got up around 11:30. I got me something to eat and then went back to bed not talking to anyone when I got up.
But this morning I went to see my little brother that was getting dressed to go to school, and Sandy dressed him in brown jeans, and a brown shirt. I told her that it was to much and that he needed a different shirt or pair of pants. She got all mad and told me that it was a classic, in style, and made him look rich. Then she told me that I could take some pointers. Yes I do wear baggie pants, and mostly black, but I look fine and "in style". I told her that I liked my style and I was comfortable in what I was wearing.
Then of all things that I have been pissed at her for she went and told me that I wasn't letting my true self out and that I only dress to make other people that I am some kind of gothic, magic spellbinding, bitch and that I wasn't letting the "real" me out and that she knew the real me and that what I was showing people of me wasn't the real me.
OMG!!! I was so pissed but I didn't say anything I just walked away and avoided the entire thing. See she hasn't knew anything about me since I was still living with my real mom.
The people that really know me, know that I am myself and that I am not a bitch. I know that I can be a bitch but that is just me, I can still get my feelings hurt.
But oh well, I have to go, because the school bell is about to release us from 6th hour and I have to go home. Talk to everyone later. Bye!
<3Julie |
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| My Bitch of a Step Mother |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|03:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Okay where do I begin? I don't even know where to start because this weekend all went to hell and I don't really know what has started it. So I am going to sum it up the best I can.
See everything was going fine, we all were getting along better then we use to, we all did things for each other and so on and so forth. But you see my dad got some very strong medacations (because of the cancer) and my step mom, Sandy likes to take them to make her "back" stop hurting.
Well my dad gave her a little bit of them and they were gone in not even two days. Then when she found out where he was putting them she started taking as much as she could.
My dad started getting wise that she was taking them because he is running out and he got them on Saturday last weekend (not easter weekend) because he just got that trace taken out of his neck and he has a big hole there until the hole closes up.
Then he started to hide them and tell me where they were at so that if I was home that I could get them for him without her knowing. Well this Friday she started getting drunk and getting pissed off because she wasn't getting the pills. Well she started saying that she was moving out and that she wasn't ever coming back. So she called her mom and dad to come over and to pick up Parker on Saturday and keep him until Monday or so. Well when they get to the house, they sit down at the kitchen table. Her mom saw her falling asleep as she was eating and Sandy just looks high off her ass. Well she kept asking Sandy what was going on for about five times of her asking that Sandy got all pissed off and wanting to kick her moms ass.
Sandy got into her moms face so far that you couldn't put a piecec of paper between them. Sandy was only wanting her mom to hit her because she wanted to put her in jail and do all this crazy shit to her mom and dad. Not only was it this weekend but two weekends ago she did the same thing to her dad at his house.
Sandy is just a drunk and a no good pill popper.
Lastnight my dad and me were talking because Sandy went to get something to "eat" but we really knew that she was going to go out and try to find her some kind of pills that she can get for cheap and will give her a big rush. Then he started making some phone calls to people so that he knows who would drive me to Ashland to his brother Walts house. Then he started saying that he was going to make out a Will that I get half of everything that belongs to him and her and that I was going to get the 1969 Firebird. That is going to really piss her off that I get all that and she wont be getting a damn thing.
Well hell the other night she was so drugged that she passed out and bit her tongue.
But I have to go and I will add more later.
<3 Julie |
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| My Daddy |
[Mar. 21st, 2005|01:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
OMG....Friday my daddy got to come home from the hospital. I was so excited to see him and to have him home. But when he got home I wasn't ready to see what I saw. A man that went into the hospital so strong and so solid as a rock and to come home so weak and so frail.
I love my dad with all my heart and he has been my rock through thick and thin. Now its like that I have to be the rock (other then my step-mom)and that I have to step up and be more grown then what I have been.
The cancer is in remission so the cancer is dormant. I am so so so greatful that he is home and everything with the cancer is getting better and whatever but it is just so hard to accept and get over because I am so used to him being the strong one in the family.
Thats about it and everything is fine, just thought I would update.
<3Julie |
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| Why? |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|09:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
I sit around and I look at different people in my classes and I wonder what is going on in thier lives.
Because it seems that everyone has a better life then me. I love my family and "some" of my friends. But everything seems to happen to me. I just want things to go right for once.
And I know that when someone reads this they are going to be thinking that I bitch alot and that I need to look at the positive but it is just to hard.
Things were getting better when I had a boyfriend because I had a reason to get up in the morning and greet a new day.
But the relationship didn't work out because we didn't get to see each other anymore and that is understandable.
I really think that if I get any more depressed then I already am that I am giong to do something really stupid. I don't care what people think anymore I just don't care at all.
People just want to be accepted for who they are and what they stand for, but there are those who are just about them and care only about their social standings.
If people would just grow up and learn how to think and do things for themselves instead of relieing on someone else just to do something then everything would be much better.
I don't even know what I am talking about at this point. So I am giong to go and continue my ranting some other time.
<3 Julie |
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| Monday......What else can I say? |
[Mar. 14th, 2005|01:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Everything is giong better with my dad, he is feeling alot better then he was. The doctors said that he can come home in a month or so. That means that my birthday is going to be in a hospital. But I don't care, anything to make my dad feel better. Things are going good in that department so lets move on to school...
Last week a girl on my bus was slapping on me and I just slapped her back and just playing around. Now she is trying to get this girl Toni to kick my ass on the bus.
But see the thing is, is that Toni is going to have a baby so if she don't want anything to happen to that baby inside of her she will leave me the fuck alone.
I can't stand girls like that, they can dish it but when someone brings it they start shaking in their panties. She needs to leave me the fuck alone because this isn't the time to fuck with me.
**Anyways**
This weekend I watched a movie called "Supersize Me". That movie will make you to never want to eat McDonalds ever again. It was so nasty and it made me think twice.
I was going to have my best friend (Tracie) over this weekend but her parents said no. Only because her dad doesn't like me because when I was down there on Halloween weekend and that monday Tracie sent herself to The Ridge. Ever since then her dad has been blaming me.
Saying that I was putting idea's in her head and that I was turning her against them and whatever. Just because her dad and my real mom didn't get along. I can understand why her dad doesn't like my mom because we can agree on that subject because I can't stand the bitch either.
But I am nothing like my mom, yes I have done somethings to them because my mom told me to, just because if I didn't my mom would beat me into a pulse.
I told her parents that I was sorry and explained to them why I did it and they understood. But now her dad is all against me for just being related to her.
I really love Tracie because she has been there when I needed her most, and if it wasn't for her I really do think that I would have killed myself by now. Because I have tried to do so before but I started thinking about things that I would miss and what I would miss in my relationship with her.
Tracie also wanted to get her tongue pierced and her dad blamed it on me that she didn't start wanting that until I told her that I wanted it. But what he doesn't know is that she is the one that made me want to get it.
Oh well...I have to go and I will talk to you guys later.
<3Julie |
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| Trying to find things out |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|08:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none, just sitting in 1st hour | ] |
I have been trying to find out a way to add pictures to my journal, but I can't seem to do so. I really want to put in some cool sketches that I did but if I can't find out soon I am just going to give up and move on to something else.
**Anyways**
Last night my step mom (Sandy) came home and she brought my little brother home from his grandparents. He has been staying at my grandparents ever since my dad went into the hospital.
Sandy told me some really bad news that is going to change my life even more then it has already. My dad hasnt been able to breathe for himself for almost a week and he has had a tube running down his trachea. Well the have been trying to get him off of it for about 4 days and been giving him breathing test and he has failed everyone of them. So now they are going to give him surgery today to remove the tube and put in one of those things that they cut out a little hole on his neck and put in one of those red things that he will have to press to talk (I can't remember what it is called).
He told us when he was awake and stable and not all drugged up that, that is the one thing that he doesn't want them to do. But this is the last thing that is able to help him in the long run. I just wish that he wasn't so "proud" and let them do what needs to be done.
The sad thing is that the only thing he wants to do is get out of the hospital and take the family out to a nice dinner, take us to a movie, and just do something fun. Because he has been so sick he has beaten himself up for not being able to do something with us.
Another bad thing is that the nurses that have been there to take care of my dad hasn't really been doing their jobs. They just sit around on their ass and do nothing. Sandy has to keep going into the lobby and get them to get up and give him the meds that he needs to not have any pain. If I were up there I would be really upset because Sandy says that he crys because he can't talk and get up and do something with us. She says that, that is the only thing keeping him stressed out. Sandy has told him over and over again that it is alright and that the only thing that we want him to do is help himself and get better.
But I have to go and I will add more later this afternoon when I get home.
<3 Julie |
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juebooger01's journal